2018: Year End

First, let me apologize for not posting the entire month. Strange occurrences have been happening, and I have yet to record them.

First things first, I have moved from my last place. It seems I move often, yet things seem to follow. I do not remember if I’ve mentioned; in my old place, I had roommates. When they moved out, one of them fell down the steps and later got into a huge fight with the other. They were a couple,

In my last days at the apartment,. since we moved two months after them, I felt lonely. I felt like an old man, given I’m female. I felt regret and longingness. I felt as though I shouldn’t leave, even though I wanted to very deeply. It felt like I was being held back and I didn’t understand why. I started getting aggressive and treating my boyfriend very badly. He complained to me that I was giving him attitude, but I felt like it wasn’t me. I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about.

When I returned to the apartment for our last items, I felt strange. I felt as though something was off. I wanted to just get out. Anxious, I grabbed a bunch of stuff and went down the steps to my car. On the way down the steps, I managed to slip and fall. It echoed throughout the hall and I had hurt my arm and leg. I lay there in shock for about five minutes, until my boyfriend came running down to me. I told him I was okay and walked it off. I stood strong, and the second trip I took would be more strange. I grabbed a crate and started down the steps. In the same spot, where I fell, the crate broke in half and all of the stuff nearly fell out. I almost busted my bum again.

Taking in a deep breath, I glanced around. I could feel a presence. I chose to ignore it and press on. We moved successfully.

Three days after we settled into our new place, I had a night terror. The strange part was before I went to bed I saw a dark figure hovering over my bed. I chose to ignore it. The nightmare was about me. It was strange because I had a wife and children. My children grew and had children of their own. On my deathbed, I held my great-grandchild. He was beautiful. Then everything faded into despair. I felt alone and unworthy. I soon realized that it wasn’t me. It was an older man. He felt that he did not accomplish a few things when he died. He wanted to do much more with his life. I knew it was the spirit from my old apartment, but I was upset.

“How dare you make me pity you when you almost killed me?” I scolded. “I almost broke my limbs because of you.” I woke to a cold sweat, but it was the last I’ve felt since moving.

The man left. I assume to bother the new tenants if there were any. Since then, I’ve been alright…

It’s been too long…(Lake House)

Hi everyone, 

I apologize for being M.I.A… I am going to try to post a blog twice a week. Then when October comes creeping by, I’ll post once a day to detail different spooky encounters I’ve had in my life. Until then, here is a little something for you to read. It is a short story I threw together. Any feedback is welcomed!  

It was late in the evening and I was at my grandmother’s lake house. The living area has two huge sliding glass doors that look out into the lake itself. In view, you could see the trees that surround the lake as well as my grandfather’s boat and the neighbors boat. The walkway is mostly stones of all sizes and eventually turns to just sand until it meets the dock. My grandfather always retired from fishing around six in the evening, and his neighbor turned in a few hours after that. The kitchen was opened and next to the living area. The light was always so dim, with almost a dingy yellowish color. During the day it was fine because we got natural light from outdoors, but during the evening and through the night, it was a bit off-putting.

I would always grab some popcorn, sit in front of the television and watch crazy shows with my brother and sister. This night was like every other night. We were watching something about Bigfoot and my sister let out a gasp. It must have been around seven o’clock or so. We stared at her as her gaze was fixed on the glass doors. “Someone is on grandpa’s boat!” We turned and saw a male figure searching around his boat. We couldn’t make out who it was, but knew it wasn’t my grandfather. I tried to shrug it off as my neighbor as they would always share things. Maybe he just needed more bate or something. Then my sister quickly pointed out that Frank, our neighbor, was in his boat packing up. We watched, squinting our eyes, trying to figure out who the man in my grandfather’s boat was. My brother pointed out that Frank didn’t seem to notice this guy. My sister and I quickly grabbed flashlights and made our way to the boats. When we reached the docks, Frank greeted us.

“Hey girls. What are you two doing out in this hour?”

“We saw someone on our grandfather’s boat. He seems to be looking for something.” Frank scratched his head as I made my way past him to the boat.

“Hold on. I saw your grandfather go back inside a while ago.”

“We know.” My sister scoffed. “He fell asleep in his room. We want to know who is on the boat.”

“Well, I’m not letting anything bad happen to you girls. I’ll come too.” He grabbed his handgun and walked with us on the boat, all the while my brother was watching from inside. We searched the entire boat and found no one. Frank scratched his head and sighed. “Are you certain you saw someone?”

“Yes, we saw him. He was looking through grandpa’s papers.”

“What in the world?” Frank was confused. “Maybe this joker heard you two and took a swim. Only, I didn’t hear the water splash. Did you?” We agreed that we didn’t hear it either. It told us it was best if we all went inside and locked the doors. “We can check out the boats in the morning – make sure nothing is missing or out of place.” He walked us up back to our grandparent’s home and went straight to his.

When our eyes met my brother’s, we saw something in him that we’ve never seen before. “Jack, you okay?” I asked.

“The man vanished into thin air. I swear I saw it!” He screamed prompting my grandmother to come to check on us.

“You kids and your crazy shows. Stop with that imagination. Nothing is out there.” She scoffed.

“Grandma we all saw the man.” My sister insisted.

“I think you three had a long day. Why don’t you head to bed? Oh, and Gracie, don’t forget to take out the trash for me sweetie.” I groaned. Being the oldest sucked. She always said, if Jack were older, he would take out the trash, but he was only nine.

It wasn’t too bad outside. The breeze was always nice. The trash cans weren’t too far, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was being watched. As I dumped the bag into the can, I ran back to the glass doors. Something in me told me to turn around before heading back in, and something else said “Don’t look”, but of course I chose to look. The man was standing on my grandfather’s boat with his arms on his hips. He wasn’t looking at me, but off to the side of the house. The wind picked up, and I looked in the direction he was looking in. Not seeing anything, I opened the door and went inside all while keeping my eyes on him. Once I closed the glass door, he walked in the direction of the water, and I couldn’t see him anymore. I wondered if he went into the captain’s den of the boat. Then it hit me, he was darker than the sky itself. Even his clothes. He was just a silhouette – yet so solid. “Gracie!” I let out a small yelp and my sister laughed. “Geez, it’s only me.”

“Don’t do that to me, Cee!” I grabbed my heart and took a breath.

“Did you see him again or something?”

“Yeah…” I shivered and looked away from the glass door.

“Yikes! Well, next time ask me to go with you.” She smiled. “Anyway, I was hoping I could sleep by the wall tonight. I’m still nervous about what we saw.”

“Did you notice how dark he was?”

“Yeah, I thought it was just me.”

“You can sleep by the wall. I’ll probably be up for a while.” I was not wrong. My grandparents had this lake house for about ten years and all my life, I have never seen this man. I wondered why I would see him now? Why haven’t we seen him before? What was he looking at?

It must’ve been about one in the morning when I finally got some sleep. Lucky for me, my sister didn’t wake me when she got up. At noon, my grandmother told me to stop being lazy and get some fresh air. So, I went outside with my brother and sister. To my surprise, my grandfather was talking to Frank about his boat and how nothing was missing, just moved around. He even found a necklace and bracelet that looked like they belonged to some little girl. He asked my sister and me if it were ours and they weren’t. Frank expressed to my grandfather that we saw someone on the boat to which he became angry. “Why didn’t you girls wake me?”

“Dave, I searched your boat with them. No sign of the guy.”

“Well, I’ll stay up tonight and see what’s going on.” Three days would go by without any sign of the man, so my sister, brother and I ruled it off as we were all just being silly. My grandfather blamed the moved objects on the wind and left it at that. He never did have an explanation about the bracelet and necklace, but we didn’t question him.

The weekend before our parents came to pick us up, we decided to stay out by the lake. My grandmother went inside to make some fresh lemonade, while we hung out near the boat. My sister and I heard a sigh coming from on the boat. We assumed it was my brother at first until we heard it again. It was a long drawn out a sigh. My brother had no words, he just ran as fast as he could back to the house. My sister and I backed away from the boat and looked up at it. The figure was there again. “Where is she?” I wasn’t brave enough to speak, but my sister was.


“My daughter…I told her not to go too far. Where is she?” He sounded like he was crying, but we couldn’t see a facial expression. My heart thumped so hard, that I couldn’t even swallow. My sister turned to look at me and I stared back at her. “Where is she?” We heard again. We turned back to look at him, but now he was standing right in front of us. We both screamed in terror and ran back to the house as fast as we could. Frank and my grandfather came bolting out of their homes ready to fight when we all stopped dead in our tracks. A bright light came from around some trees. The glow was super intense.

“I’m here papa.” We all glanced around before running and shutting the glass doors. Frank followed us in.

“What in the hell?” Frank screamed in shock. That was the last time we went to the lake house.

My mind explosion

I’ve been thinking a lot about things. Like hauntings and living a normal life, let me explain my thoughts based on my own experience(s). I never sought out to live in a haunted place. Nor did I want to. The issue with this is, once you’ve lived in one, a home without hauntings may seem…too quiet…and makes you feel uneasy. “Why is it so quiet?” Was my first thought after moving out with my boyfriend. It was creepy to me. We couldn’t even hear the neighbors unless a window was open. When being home alone, it was deathly quiet to the point where I had the television on because if it were off, I would start thinking about my old place. Not because I missed being haunted, but because I was never alone. I was able to hear the neighbors outside and was able to know people are out there living.
It was also weird to me that I could put down a cup or paper, walk away, and it still be there when I return. My night terrors also vanished, and the problem with this is that I also stopped dreaming. The only time I would dream, was when an event was about to happen. I’d see it, wake up, and then hear about it. It wouldn’t happen the way it did in my dream, but it was a similar fashion. Sometimes, I would stop everyone and say, “I’ve seen this before.” It happens to people all the time, but it seems to happen to me more often.
There would be days I’d lay in bed and wonder what my old place is like for those still living there (my family). I wonder if the activity has gotten worse, or if it slowed. Are they mad that I’ve gone away? Or do they not notice because my family is there? Questions, I dare not ask them myself. Occasionally, I’d ask my mom or grandma if things are well there. They say, “everything is fine.” However, there was one time, around October, when everything was not fine. Activity picked up and they had to do some cleansings. Meanwhile, at my place, things were normal.
Every time my boyfriend or myself tell people that I was haunted, they become intrigued. They want to know more about me and they want to understand the feelings I’ve had. They are what I call, “Thrill Seekers”, but they really should be careful of how much “thrill” they really seek. It could be bad, very bad. Every person that is curious about hauntings, I ask, “why does this interest you? Why do you want to know?” Every answer is similar, with the occasional unique response. They just want to know more because they are doubtful. The reason they are doubtful and seek this kind of thing, is because they do not believe in what they do not experience or see. If you everyone can’t or won’t experience hauntings, then it is not real. It is the same with religion, if you ask me, but religion is more complex.
For me, religion may have saved my life. You see, I’ve lived in my old home since I was eight. I moved when I was 25 going on 26. During those years, I’ve tried to block away what I’ve heard and seen. I’ve tried to push these things away. One year, when I was about 14, I told my mother – in the home – that I did not believe in God anymore. I told her that He was not real. She cried but respected my decision. Well, guess what happened next! Since I was no longer under His protection, I was attacked. I woke with bruises and was struck with sadness and anger. The worse part was I didn’t even know why I was upset. I just was. After time, I opened my eyes and realized what I’ve done. I ran to my mom and said, “I believe in God. I do. I know He is real.” She was so happy for me. The bruising went away, but it took time for my happiness to return.
It was weird for me growing up because sometimes, if I wasn’t careful, I would feel other people’s emotions. I would understand why they were upset or sad without even knowing them. It was horrible. So, I tried to block that as well. Now, I moved again (still with my boyfriend), and I can no longer feel what others feel. I have successfully blocked it, but I am still a lighthouse for things unseen. Currently, I have been staying at my old place, because my boyfriend is away on training, and nothing has happened. The only strange thing was that I had gotten bumps all over my body the first night I stayed. They disappeared the very next day. I blame it on the sheets, but who knows? That is not my focus.
The house has an empty feeling to it. A lonely vibe. It feels like someone is so alone and they can feel the house getting more and more vacant. It scares them because they don’t want to be alone. At first, I thought it was my grandma feeling that way, but now I am not so sure. I hugged my grandma and could feel her warmth and happiness. She just retired and is looking to move, so she is excited and nervous about that. She wants to leave but doesn’t want things to change. She wants to live where all her grandchildren can still visit her.
I hugged my mom and could feel her love. However, she also feels trapped and wants to leave the house as soon as possible, but she knows that will take time. She is glad that she doesn’t have to worry about my grandma going to work anymore. She is content with her job but would like more of a challenge. She is bored and wants excitement to return to her.
I said hello to my uncle and could feel his nervousness about the move. He wonders if he should live alone or with my grandma.
None of them felt so empty. None of them were afraid that the house may stay empty. So where is this feeling coming from? I won’t be staying long enough to find out. But we have all been there for so long that there is a sadness we feel when leaving it all behind. A piece of us will always be left behind, and that makes me concerned. Concerned because that piece of me that is connected, is my curiosity for those who move in after. I’ll be tempted to go visit and ask if they like living there. I know I would never feed this temptation, but I can’t help but wonder, what happens to spirits, demons, and other supernatural things when we move out? Do they wait patiently for the next victims, or move on from the place if it’s been too long? My curiosity would kill me if I went to find out.
My conclusion is that humans are far too curious for our own good. People tend to seek things without knowing the consequences. Some people go, expecting the least and arise with the worst. In my opinion, it’s better to let people believe there is no such things as hauntings, rather than show them. It might scar them forever, or worse. Consider yourself blessed if you’ve never seen a “ghost”. It can be a wonderful world, a “gift” to see and know, but for me it’s a curse. Sometimes I am okay with it, other times I want to hide. Be careful, and before you go searching, ask yourself a simple question – What are you scared of more? Things you can’t see? Or things you can see?
Have a wonderful day/night!


She stared out into the open window, wide eyed and curious, looking for something that she dare not speak of. “Who’s there?” Her whisper seemed to echo throughout the night. Her room was a good size for a five year old, but she often felt watched. An old woman would linger in the hall, but no one ever saw her the way she did. Her once white gown covered in Crimson splotches and brown muck, and her pale wrinkled face with whited out eyes always seemed so frightening. “Who’s there?” She repeated. No answer. Sometimes she thought about the man who stood outside their front door. No one seemed to see him either, and maybe it was because he only came around at three in the morning. She thought that maybe he was the one scratching at her window.

“What’s wrong?” A familiar voice called to her. She sighed and turned to see her father gazing through the darkness. He was trying to look at whatever she had tried to find. “Did you see something? A bird?” She just sighed again, shaking her head. “Well, whatever you thought was out there is gone. Maybe it was just a bird.” He walked over and shut the window. “I’ll close the curtains for you.” He smiled but she knew they would only open again once he left. He offered to leave the door cracked but she begged for him not to because she would hear the old woman cry. At least with the door shut it was muffled and she could try to sleep better. He gave her a kiss upon the cheek before departing to his bedroom.

She often laid in bed for hours with her hands over her ears before falling asleep. The little boy in her room would always scream at her to get out of his room, but it didn’t scare her. What scared her was his face and how rearranged it was. The back of his head was missing and she could see inside, all the brains and blood just slipping out, and his eye was gone. It was a gaping hole. His cheeks were bruised and arms were scarred. It was as if he were beaten, but by who? She never wanted to find out. She made it a point to just ignore him and not look at his horrid face. She begged her mother for an MP3 player but she saw no need for a five year old to have one. No matter how hard she tried to get one, it never worked in her favor. The boy would shake her bed and pound on the walls, but she was tired of running. She rather deal with the boy. At least he didn’t try to grab her like the woman in the hall.

Sometimes she would fall asleep in the living room because Lucy was nicer than the boy. She actually spoke to Lucy, even though she didn’t look very pleasant either. She had a cut that wrapped around her neck and when she moved her head, blood just seemed to spew out. She was able to get passed that because her arm had a gash so deep, you would think you’d be able to see through it. Lucy was about the same age as her so they would often play with toys and laugh with one another. The boy only left the room at two in the afternoon because the old woman scared him too. She would disappear around that time. He would watch the girls with envy and cause tantrums that she was always blamed for. Lucy didn’t like the boy. She would yell at him and he would yell back. She didn’t do it often because she knew it would scare her. Her and Lucy were great, unless she didn’t want to play. Then Lucy would get upset.

She wasn’t happy about the garage, because the man with the pitch fork would lick his lips every time he saw her mother. She would tug at her and say, “he’s watching.” But she would only laugh and tell her to get in the car, or house, depending on where they were headed. She would see a doctor twice a week and every week the doctor would grow more concerned. “Lucy said she died.” When asked how, she would simply shrug. “I don’t know. It hurts her very bad. I think it was the man.” When asked about the man she would shake her head in terror. “The one in the garage! He must’ve did it!” She would draw pictures of all four of them and knew that no one believed her. She knew something wasn’t right, but she was too young to comprehend.

At age six, they set out to move and she had to say goodbye to Lucy. What she wasn’t expecting was the little boy. He actually grabbed hold of her. She was too shocked to scream. “Please don’t go. I don’t want anyone else in here. Stay!” Her father waltz in and gasped as he saw the boy for the first time. “My name is Johnny.” He whispered in her ear before her father yanked her away and as he turned to run, the old woman stood in the hall. She began to moan as she always did and Johnny shouted. “She’s my grandmother but she’s crazed! She did it! She forgot her pills!” Her father, nearly fainting in terror, grabbed hold of her tighter and ran passed the old woman. Tripping on an old toy he saw Lucy.

“You’re going to have a younger brother. He’s going to make you very happy.” She waved at the girl as her father gasped for air. He ran even faster to the car and nearly threw her in. When he started it up, he could hear a male cackling. Before backing up the car, his eyes were fixed on the old man who was in the garage. He turned to his wife, who was frozen with fear, and looked back at her. She shrugged and closed her eyes.

“I just ignore them.” She stated calmly. “But Lucy was my best friend.” Satisfied that they finally believed her, she fell asleep in the car as her father drove as fast as he could away from the house. It was the best sleep she ever had.


So, my boyfriend decided to surprise me a couple weeks ago with a ball of fur. He is a Pomsky (pomeranian husky) and full of energy. He has been consuming my time and though he is sleeping in this photo, he is a hurricane.

Teething is not fun.

The biting is not fun.

Potty training is most definitely not fun.

His crying at night for bed is not fun.

However, the love he shares is perfect.

The playfulness in his eyes is heart warming.

The kisses make you forget why you were upset.

The experience is unforgettable.

He is one of a kind and loves winking at me. I swear he did it 5 times now.

He was born December 24th, 2017. My boyfriend got him at the end of March. I must say, he is growing on me and I am in love.

He is the perfect gift for my anxiety and panic attacks. I mean, just look at him!


I am sick of this snow!!!!

My writing in French is not what it used to be, but here we go…

Prepare for typos and such!

l’hiver est venu, tuant toutes les feuilles. la neige recouvrant les tombes s’étendait sur toute la route. le silence pour ces feuilles, nous laissant à bout de souffle alors que les vents hurlants pouvaient être entendus, pleurant la perte de beaucoup. Pourtant, l’hiver arrive toujours chaque année. l’hiver vient et nous fait si froid, nous mourons à l’intérieur …


Sometimes I feel like my job is a giant daycare…

When it comes to work, I like to ensure my job is done. If you mess me up, I will say something. When we had a meeting, (I work in operations), I addressed that the returns team keeps losing the labels I make for them. So, the woman in charge got mad and started yelling at me after the meeting. She told me that if I am going to attack her then she is going to tell on me too. I told her that I was not trying to get anyone in trouble. My boss even said it wasn’t too big of an issue because we can come up with ways to fix it, (and I did because I’m amazing and love working), but this woman insisted that she get me in trouble for anything she could find. So, she sends me an email referring to a document, asking me for an update on it. It was number 19 on the list, according to her, and she wanted me to look into it. I went on my list and screen grabbed the information for her. I told her that I had given her a label in January for this order to return to the customer. She printed it out…

Next thing I know, her and my boss are in my office asking me why I sent her information about one order, if she was asking about another. So I asked them what they meant, and before they could explain I opened my list and showed her what I screen grabbed. My boss said that the order number was different from the email subject line order. So I became angry. Do not mess with my job!!! I started explaining and presenting facts. I told her, “You’re holding the paper. Look at what she asked me.” I pointed at the reference she gave me and said, “I have a big list here. She asked me for 19, so I gave her 19. I am not looking at the order number if she references the number of the list.” So my boss turns to her and asks her if she has 19 in the warehouse. She says yes. SO I, BEING NICE AND PETTY say, “Well why is it still back there if I gave you a label back in January?” Her face flushed. She didn’t know what to say so right there I reprinted the label, gave it to her, and asked if there was anything else they needed. My boss turned to her and said, “You are the one that needs to be careful. Make sure you pay more attention.”

Now, I remember I am trying to stay positive, so I plant a huge smile on my face and ask, “Is there anything else I can help you with?” At this point she was fuming. My boss assured me that they were done talking to me and that I was doing a good job. The woman didn’t look at me for the rest of the day.

Yup, very childish people at my job.



So, I have decided to be more productive this year, yet I haven’t done much to become productive. Since I have a small break from school, I’ve decided to start “cleaning out the closet” if you will. I started my taxes (they’re annoying), and I’ve started saving money (I’m going to Disney!).

I’ve missed my blogs so much! As a result, I am writing one! Ever since I’ve gotten promoted to Manager at my job, I have been busy working from home, as well as doing school work. My major is Project Management, (it was English, but I wanted to learn more about the business life so that I can create my own writing business), so I have a LOT of classes that are not my cup of tea. However, I have been trying to practice time management and will start writing more. As it is my escape from this world and the only place I can truly express my feelings without anyone getting too hurt.

Now that I’m getting my sh*t together, I’ve decided that being productive and positive is the way to go! I also have a request from whoever reads this!

I was looking into cutting meat out of my diet to become more healthy, but I do not know where to start. If anyone can help me, as I was reading up on it and it seems very hard. There is a lot of information out there and I just feel it would be easier to read a blog on health and how to cut meat out slowly. Sort of like a step by step. Any recommendations are appreciated, or maybe you have tips you can share with me? I am almost 120% sure I am starting this all wrong. So my request is, please help with this!

I’ve also noticed that more and more people are coming up to me and asking me questions about the supernatural, as that conversation always seems to pop up for me. No matter how much I try it not to, it happens. I just might start talking about it more (even though it isn’t October) but I am not certain if I am fully ready. So be prepared I guess!

Thanks in advance for any suggestions about cutting meat out, and if you have a favorite food please let me know!


It was a leech that destroyed me. A leech who bit into my soul. A leech that drained me from all my power. The feeling of sand just filling your lungs. So dry, yet addicting.

I’m crazy, maybe. I’m stupid, so they say, but this leech had control over my body. He drained my spirit and caused me to feel nothing.

A void inside my heart. A gaping black hole that leads nowhere. The dryest evilest place that was once so pure.

The damning pain within overwhelms my body. The numbness of never feeling trust again. The “What ifs” and the “I’m not good enough” that haunts my head is so taunting my brain could explode.

The attacks so early in the morning, no good morning messages just yelling right from the start. The panic attacks that go unnoticed by his sight because he doesn’t care enough, yet swears he loves.

What does he love?

The broken glass that lies on the floor puts the shock in my heart. I realize that these pieces are parts of me that I can never get back. My body is balding from its emotion and no one seems to care.

I’m forced to put up a wall and act like a perfect princess.

I’m broken and it haunts me every day…



I’m overdue.

Throughout the week I’ve met quite some people. I was nice and never once did I mention anything about my past or how I portray myself when it comes to certain things. However, every person I’ve met has come to me and start asking me about the supernatural. One, knew that I was trying to block my own knowledge of the subject. The other, just felt comfort in confiding in me.

I started to wonder if I just have that vibe of, “it’s okay to express your feelings on the topic”, or maybe it’s more like, “I know you are like me”. Which ever the case, I am flattered yet terrified. The fact that a stranger and sense me and sense the things I’ve been through or the things I’ve seen, is just a bit overwhelming. One of the people I’ve met told me, “blocking it out doesn’t make you stronger. You have to embrace it and then you’ll be able to control it.” The nervous feeling I got when hearing those words made me sigh. I knew they were right, but I didn’t want to be strong in it. I just want to be normal. As if they read my mind they said, “This is normal.”

Every time I socialize, the subject of ghosts and monsters pops up. I can feel eyes on me, waiting to hear my tails and experiences. Even if they don’t know me, they want me to speak. Most days I keep to myself, but other days – This happens.

I’m not saying this is a negative, but just once I want that small talk about anything that has nothing to do with creepy crawlers. Don’t get me wrong, the topic is amazing and educational, but I would love a normal every day chat about something else.

Just my thoughts for the day. Be warm in this snow!